


Strippers and Slutty Nurses (and don't forget a crisp $20.)

by snakesnbooks



Series: The Finer Things [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Allison gets mentioned too, Ben enjoys corporeal things, Ben goes really james charles on em, Ben is sort of a sugar baby, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Diego watching Ben's ass for a solid five minutes, Diego works at the bar, Feminine ben, Halloween, Klaus is just SUPER fucking kinky idk, Klaus is really running the show here, M/M, Pampering, Stripper Klaus, The others don't know what's going on they're clueless, seriously he's FUCKED
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 20:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18239822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snakesnbooks/pseuds/snakesnbooks
Summary: Ben starts messing around with Klaus after everything goes down; Diego finds out. Fuck, he REALLY finds out.***It's halloween, Ben is a slutty nurse, Klaus is enjoying the look. So is Diego. Klaus catches him staring (observative fucker he is) and then things spiral.





	Strippers and Slutty Nurses (and don't forget a crisp $20.)

**Author's Note:**

> So I didn't get to actual smut but I figure I can work my way there! (I made an AO3 for smut whoops.)  
> Also I 100003984732891 billion% diverge from Ben's personality but I'm a slut for spoiled femenine ben so deal with it ig!!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy, it's total trash, I really hope no one I know ever finds this :):):)

Ever since he'd been able to become corporeal at will, Ben had decided to do everything _._ He wanted to try it all; dessert, food, skincare, makeup, different styles. He'd spent fifteen years following Klaus, who was a kinky little shit, and a lot of his preferances for nice clothes, makeup (and admittedly, men,) had rubbed off on Ben just enough that by the time he was able to try his own style, those things were all he could think to try (yes, including the men.) Ben wanted to try  _everything._

Of course, Klaus had provided. After he'd gotten clean, he'd gotten a job at a strip club that Diego bartended for; Diego hadn't been involved in their psuedo-relationship ordeal at the time, but he'd figured it out fast enough. Klaus bought shit for Ben all the time, and he wasn't exactly secretive about it. He made pretty good money with the new job, and both Klaus and Ben liked spoiling and being spoiled respectively. And although Ben usually stayed hidden when he trailed Klaus to the club, he'd sometimes made exceptions to order fruity drinks he liked, and Diego was the only one who would serve him- seeing as how he still sort of looked fifteen. He  _wasn't_ though. It would bother him a lot more if he bothered to stop and think about it, but he was kept pretty busy with Klaus, and of course, trying everything. 

 

Diego hadn't actually been _involved_ involved until Halloween. It was a busy night at the club, but Ben had swung by to say hi to Klaus. He'd finished his dance, spotted Ben in the crowd, and then made his way over. Neither seemed to notice Diego, who was standing at the bar right next to them. Ben was too busy pulling Klaus into a tight hug- and Klaus was too busy checking out his boyfriend. Admittedly, that's what Diego was doing too; he knew Ben had developed a more feminine fashion lately, and he didn't think much of it. But this was something different; He wore a skin tight, white mini-skirt made of plasticy, reflective material, and a fishnetted, cropped white tank top with a red nurse's cross in the middle. He had a nurse cap on, and platform heels in the same red as the crosses, laced up with white laces to his knees. They made him taller, and he stood just an inch above Klaus, but not Diego. the extra height raised his ass a bit, too, putting it at a level that Diego could clearly see a bit of skin not contained by the skirt. 

He swallowed. He couldn't look away. 

Ben leaned forward- leaned  _down,_ god, those heels were working wonders- catching Klaus' lips in a heated kiss. 

"I missed you today, Babe, Allison bailed for movie marathon," Ben hummed, and Klaus frowned. Diego remembered being invited to movie marathon a while ago- it wasn't really his thing, and Allison usually went, so he hadn't bothered. In fact, he hadn't bothered with most of the things Ben did, which he regretted a bit. He saw Ben around the bar, sure, but he was obviously here for Klaus, and Diego didn't really know what was going on with him. 

"Halloween is always busy. Were you alright alone?" Klaus asked, and Ben nodded, jumping up and down slightly with a grin. The movement of his skirt snapped Diego's attention away from his thoughts again, and he refrained from making a noise. 

"I was fine! I watched scary movies and shit. Just not the ones with ghosts," he added, shrugging. Klaus laughed, although the joke was dark and seemed to Diego like it was something neither of them would want to joke about. Then again, he didn't exactly spend much quality time with the two. 

"Alright, good," Klaus responded, and then checked his watch, pouting. "I gotta keep working, Benny. If you can seduce someone into giving you a 20, I'll save you a lap dance," he grinned, and winked.

"Aw, not gonna give me a freebie?" Ben snickered, and trailed his hand down Klaus' side to his waistband. Diego shivered, although Klaus seemed mostly unaffected. 

"I spoil you too much. Work for it!" he sang back, and leaned up to kiss Ben again, long and hard. His hands moved to cup his ass, and Diego finally let out a small huff, shifting on his feet. Ben pulled slowly from Klaus, who was grinning wickedly. "Liking the show?" He called, and moved his eyes to meet Diego's, squeezing Ben's ass again, hard. Diego held in another noise, instead shaking his head hurriedly. While Klaus seemed unbothered by his brother getting off on him and his other brother/boyfriend making out, Ben was looking over with wide eyes like he'd been caught shoplifting or watching porn, pulling slightly away from Klaus. 

"I'm not _enjoying_ it," Diego grumbled. "I just couldn't help but notice my two brothers getting wild _right in front of my fucking bar_."  

"Ouch!" Hissed Klaus. "That's cold. Really, so rude. You act as if we're having sex right on the counter," he complained, and then to demonstrate, picked Ben up and sat him down on the counter right in front of Diego, ass in his face. He felt his cheeks warm up, and he swallowed dryly as Klaus laughed, Ben squealing and quickly getting off the bar, slapping Klaus' arm and looking away from Diego. 

"Would you stop fucking around?" Diego finally asked. He wanted them to leave, both of them, so that he could erase this from his memory. "Leave me alone while I'm working." 

"Aw, you know you want it," Klaus purred, wrapping his arms around Ben's hips and pulling him into his own. Ben made another high pitched noise, covering himself with his hands and flushing bright red. 

"Klaus! _Miniskirt!_ " he hissed, and Diego couldn't stop the noise that left his lips, Ben's attention snapping back to him in a mix of surprise and embarassment. Klaus laughed. 

"Oh, now you do really need that dance, Benny. You don't wanna be walking around... indecent," Klaus teased, and then glanced up at Diego again. "I'm sure your dear brother Diego wouldn't mind donating. I'd even let you share," he purred, and Ben elbowed him, not moving his hands from where they were hiding his crotch. 

Looking back, Diego doesn't know what possesed him to be so bold. Honestly, it wasn't even  _that_ bold, considering he stood speechless for about 30 seconds before Klaus leaned over the bar counter and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. He stuck the 20 in Ben's waistband, and then turned around to  _lick Diego's neck._

"Feel free to join us," he sang. "Benny is embarassed now, but he won't mind. We'll be in room-"

"I know what room," Diego snapped. "You always use the fucking luxury one." 

"Ohh, someone's been listening!" Klaus gasped, and his eyes were wide with surprise and delight. He pulled Ben along behind him, dissapearing down a side hall to the private rooms. It only took Diego a minute of hesitation before he followed, knocking sharply on the door to the room he knew Klaus would be in. It swung open to a grinning Klaus- Ben was sprawled on the fuzzy couch deeper into the room, squirming.   
"We waited for you," Klaus purred, and Diego flushed. 

 

"This'd better be good, you dick."

**Author's Note:**

> ABSOLUTE trash, really short, not the best!!! But I hope y'all enjoyed anyways. Thanks for reading my first almost-porn fic Uwu


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